Whether it’s admitting you made a mistake, or opening up to a friend about something you are insecure about, or even starting a new relationship with someone.. vulnerability can feel uncomfortable as you are running the risk of getting hurt. But once you get through that initial fear, you then have the chance to truly connect with people. There is something refreshing about people who are able to admit their faults compared to those who pretend they don’t have any. It is also a proven fact that when we are able to verbally express our emotions, we feel a sense of relief and are able to deal with things better. From personal experience I know that when someone first puts themselves in a vulnerable position and chooses to open up to me, I admire them for being authentic and real and I instantly feel closer to that person. Especially when it’s stuff that isn’t conventionally talked about because it shows that that person is trusting me and in return, I am able to trust them. When I first posted about my struggles with anxiety, many people who I never really became close with reached out to me and told me about their struggles and how they related, etc, and I instantly felt the connection. I also viewed them in a different light as it made me see them as authentic and real.
Some people refuse to let themselves be vulnerable because they have internalized that it mean’s they would appear weak to others and run the risk of getting judged and/or rejected. And that definitely is a scary thought.. however, you can’t let that stop you or else you will be giving up the chance to truly connect, relate and be loved by others. Also, simply allowing yourself to feel is being vulnerable – so saying that being vulnerable makes you weak is the same at saying feeling makes you weak. It just isn’t true. Being vulnerable is not even slightly related to being weak. If anything, being vulnerable takes emotional maturity, courage and authenticity. I have taught myself to look at it this way: if someone is going to reject or judge me for being vulnerable, then they are not worth my time anyway so it’s basically a win win situation!
I think one of the most vulnerable states a woman can be in is when she first has her heart broken. Then, she is hurt, confused, empty, lonely and probably regretting ever allowing herself to be so vulnerable as to risk getting hurt. But then as time goes on, she becomes stronger and grows as a person. She discovers more of what she wants in a relationship and learns what red flags to avoid. She becomes wiser and looks back on her heartache as a life lesson that helped put her on the correct path to finding the right person for her. When I first started dating again after my first big breakup, I was extremely scared of feeling vulnerable. Whenever I first started developing feelings for someone else, it made me a bit hesitant. The feeling of even liking a guy in that way made me nervous. But with time, I learnt that the risk of being vulnerable is 100% worth the outcome. As Brene Brown put’s it, “embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy – the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”