Most people remember and admire those who have the strength to be their true, authentic self. What is the point in trying to be like everybody else? What will you gain from following the crowd? Chasing perfection just sets you up for disappointment. Ever since I have let go of the chase, I have felt so much happier with my life.
Stop Looking for States of Perfection
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Some people spend their whole lives trying to be someone that they are not because they feel inadequate in comparison. The worst thing you can do to yourself is compare yourself with someone else. Why? Because everyone is different. No one person is the same and everyone has their fair share of flaws, so it’s important to acknowledge and accept that. I am completely guilty of this. Through out high school I would often adapt myself to whoever I was hanging out with because I thought that was the only way to gain their approval. However this became very draining, and it would make me question who I really even was. Another reason you shouldn’t compare your life to someone else’s is because on the outside, things may often seem a certain way but that’s usually inaccurate. You really don’t know what battle someone has fought just by looking at them from the outside.
Stop Believing The “If Only.. Then Things Would Be Different” Fallacy
I can’t even begin to count how many times I have overheard girls say they wish they had bigger boobs. And their reasoning behind it? I guess they feel that if they had bigger boobs, they would be more desired by men. Okay so, yeah, guys like boobs.. but do you really think a guy who genuinely likes you for you won’t date you just because of a physical characteristic like small boobs? Shouldn’t girls want to attract guys that like them exactly the way they are? Perfectly imperfect?
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” – Steve Furtick
Let Go Of Perfectionism
My whole life I have always been a perfectionist. I would get frustrated whenever I tried something new and didn’t totally get it the first time around. Then I would just decide to give it up instead of stick with it, in order to avoid failing at it. Little did I know that I was holding myself back from developing strengths in so many different things. I also didn’t recognize at the time that it was ok to make mistakes, and the only way to get better at something is to keep practicing and learn from every mistake and move forward. Anyway, I did this for so many things – piano, guitar, singing, gymnastics, dance, sports, etc. I took guitar for about a year when I was fourteen – but the minute it started to become really challenging, I quit. Of course I blew it off and acted as if I was just bored of it.. but in reality, I was afraid of failing and making a mistake. When I was thirteen I wanted to become a dancer, so I took a dance class. Of course, everyone that was in the class that I took was very experienced, so I immediately felt inadequate and decided that I dancing wasn’t “my thing” and therefore, it was pointless to even try. I basically set myself up to fail.
Allow Yourself To Be Exactly Who You Are
Overtime I have realized a couple of things. These realizations have helped me stop comparing myself to others, stop trying to be someone I am not and learn to love my imperfections. They are simple: Allow yourself to make mistakes without being afraid of judgement. Allow yourself to be who you are. Surround yourself with positive people and distance yourself from negativity. Appreciate your life and everyone in it. And learn to live in the present moment and stop searching for an unattainable “perfect”.